My first heart surgery - I went home by myself one week out. My kids and brother took turns checking on me and my wife came home most weekends. I Spent time on the phone all I could - but the gravity of things - the cold weather and crappy medicine started to work on me. I made it through and was just starting to feel productive and then found out it was for nothing. Then valve two was put in and I went home - My wife stayed a week at home and I have had less help and assistance than the first time. I sometimes feel the depression coming around and try to refocus on other things. But thinking about everything that happened this close to surgery is still overwhelming- There is no secret or magical solution- just praying that time will heal some of the emotional scars that match my wild physical scars. I have a friend dying of cancer and now have the mission to visit with her husband every chance I can - I have a good chance to recover and I need to focus to help someone else and not focus on my disaster.