Hi
honeybunny;n879462 said:
dick0236
...He died at 49. He had surgery at 15 to bisect one of the cusps on his bicuspid valve. He was so emotionally affected by that surgery because no one had prepared him that he refused to see doctors as an adult.
I think this must vary from person to person, as much as does how useful we as individuals find the advice of counselling professionals (me, not so much). As you can well imagine there was no counselling for me or my mother and father back in 1974 either, maybe that wasn't bad.
I'm of the view that in hindsight I can see the emotional issues that it caused my mother. I spent a good amount of time sorting myself out in my teens too from the surgery, and the peripheral procedures (what we call angiogram was then completely different).
Nobody assisted or it seems gave a flying F. Sink or swim; all was up to the individual.
By my thirties I'd largely put things together and grokked them.
My view is that we all have emotional scars and baggage from the things in life that happen. Each deals with them as best they can.
I was lucky to be of the nature that I could bear the head winds which blew ..
Curiously I was reflecting this evening about life and how I don't enjoy the now as much as I could. How I feel cheated to have survived aneurysm and infection just to lose the one I loved in life, to remain imprisoned in life without her.
I reminded myself that had I not had access to that surgery in 1974, that I would have simply died as a teenager and never done what I went on to do, nor met my lovely wife. When we take such blessings as life giving surgery it always comes with some costs, as well as benefits.
I'm glad you had your time with your husband Bunny, as glad as I am I had my time with my wife. I wish he'd come to terms with his surgery better than he did, but then maybe he did as well as he could in the situation he was in and from.
My best wishes to you in your time.
"Storm on the horizon at a fork in the road"
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Tick tock says my beating clock.
Good night my friend
PS: I phrased my views on my Mum and her struggle with her child with BAV over here some years back here on VR
http://www.valvereplacement.org/foru...328#post786328