A Significant other with a valve like me

Vincentia

New member
Joined
Apr 11, 2019
Messages
1
Hi everyone, I am new on here. I hope this is the right platform

I am actually looking for a partner on here, someone who is used to the clicks of our valves. :) People without just get petrified and this can be so hurtful. I would console myself by thinking 'well, your loss, at least being bionic, I am proof of humanity's advancement in technology, lol.....


Thank you.
 

pellicle

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 4, 2012
Messages
5,858
Location
Queensland, Australia
Hi Vincentia

I'm not sure what you mean by partner, but if you are meaning romantic, there is no doubt in my mind that while having our ticking valves is an observable thing to others that it would only be a barrier for shallow and vacuous people.

Rather than an impediment I take the idea that its a shield, protecting me from the narcissists and others like them who just want to use you.

I've found that as one progresses through life if the choices you've (I've) made in partner fail to yeild a good and lasting match that indeed the opportunities for finding the next person diminish. Either because the "good people are already taken" (even if only in the window of time you're seeking in) or are increasingly encumbered with the baggage of failures trailing behind them (too). When I was at Uni there were far greater opportunities to meet and form relationships with like minded and similar people, but as years go by being out in the world the cross section of people you meet makes the meeting of "the one" harder.

However you just can't deny "fate" in this, as I met and married the most wonderful woman in Korea (I being from Australia, her being from Finland) while I (and she) were on a 6 months study exchange. I could not have predicted that, so you just never know.

My approach is to consider that something "forced" never works, and proper "organic" relationships take time to form and the meetings need to be natural (meaning that I don't have any regard for Tinder or the like). While this is perhaps frustrating so too is failure, extracting ones self from a relationship you want out of, or being dumped because you didn't see they were not genuine.

Sure this takes time but one must be happy to accept who you are (as I do for myself) before anyone else can actually be happy to accept who you are. There must be no "needing" involved or else disappointment will build.

I am single now and do my best to see that I'm happy that way. I have to accept that I may remain single for the rest of my life as a result (but be open to change and not reject it). Anything else will leave me open to a longing for what is in reality beyond my control, and suffering in some small way every day. Not a good way to spend my life, but nor is serial break ups either.

The Neil Diamond song Solitary Man sums it up for me.

Best Wishes
 

pellicle

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 4, 2012
Messages
5,858
Location
Queensland, Australia
PS: from your bio I see you're searching for alternatives to Warfarin. My view is that Warfarin is the best drug to be on for a number of sound reasons:
  • ready reversal of coagulation
  • well studied (for like 50 years) with tons of open and objective studies by the scientific community (reject fluff publications instantly)
  • excellent and well established methodologies for management (rather than the lack of management in other choices)
  • ease of use
  • super low price
There are plenty of good threads here on this (and I'm not ashamed to admit I champion this cause as if my life depended on it ... gosh, which it does).
 

leadville

Premium Level User
Joined
Aug 28, 2017
Messages
152
Location
Wigan, England
Hi Vincentia

You have a mechanical Mitral valve, the new generation of ACT don't seem to suit Mech Valves
Warfarin seems to be the best option ( for now )

Best wishes
 


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