A New Recognition......

[Jkm7]

I was reading another thread and I had an "Ahhhh moment".

Anyone else associate with this?

This is the first time since I began this whole heart journey coming up to eight years ago that I truly recognize and accept I am no longer the "A" type personality I used to be. I always wanted to accomplish, was challenged to figure things out, needed to feel 'smarter', but no longer. I'm happy to pass something off for someone else to do if possible. I don't challenge myself in the ways I used to. I don't need to do it all and I'm absolutely fine with it.

Thanks, folks.......

You just gave me another gift. Threads here about only tangentitally related subjects often trigger other thoughts.

 

[Bina]

Hmmm, wondering if this is mostly related to OHS or the common sense of middle age.....I'm thinking that it is mostly
related to OHS giving us a second chance and no need to "sweat the small stuff" anymore, cuz it just ain't worth it.

 

[Jkm7]

That's the irony because I read here everyday about many (most ?) post op OHS posters saying they no longer sweat the small stuff. That isn't me. I think the 'small stuff' still gets to me; maybe more than before. I know I'm the minority but I am who I am.

 

[piglet]

I still sweat the small stuff, and the big stuff, I think more than before. I worry about my condition costing us too much, stopping my family from enjoying other things because either we can't afford it or I can't be involved. I guess I am having a hard time accepting the new life this has made for us, because I feel like I've caused it. Anyone else get this way? What did you do to help allieviate it?

 

[JulieS]

JKM7
I am 6 weeks post op and I call it "My Spark". I too was the same way. I am typically a person that has huge goals in life, an over achiever. Loved my job, the more work the better, but... my spark is gone. That is not like me. I HOPE IT COMES BACK but you are 8 years out so.... I would not be happy not getting my spark back.

 

[Jkm7]

Julie,
It's possible my age, near retirement, is a factor and it might be very different for you.
I have found that if someone else offers to do something for me, I'd always say, Oh, thanks, I appreciate it but I'll take care of it. Now, my initial reaction is an immediate, Oh thanks, that's really nice of you.

I don't need to prove I'm still a great cook and run dinner parties. Now DH and I entertain in restaurants. I never did that in the past. I loved setting the table, planning intricate meals and planning/cooking for days. Now I make reservations.

I can't account for just why..... there are two obvious choices. Age and/or two OHS.

 

[Julian]

For most I think its normal to not feel your old self for months after surgery. I've had two concussions in the past and for a month each time I was wondering if I was the same person as before, eventually things settled out and I didn't question if I was back to normal or not, it either corrected or I got used to the new normal. With OHS I think we get a taste of this plus mental and emotional shock that takes longer to correct or get used to. It may be some mild depression or chemical imbalance lurking around that can be fixed with a med or different lifestyle.

 

[GordoAVR]

Surgery was nine days ago. Today I took a walk down to the beach today thinking what a gift it is to have this kind of recovery so soon. A week ago I was so tangled up with tubes and data connectors that I could hardly sit up in bed.

Today as I watched the seabirds fly out over the beautiful blue ocean; I thought how grateful I was to be outside and free like them. I've always believed that faith could heal; but I never expected it would be demonstrated to me like this.

 

[Julian]

Surgery was nine days ago. Today I took a walk down to the beach today thinking what a gift it is to have this kind of recovery so soon. A week ago I was so tangled up with tubes and data connectors that I could hardly sit up in bed.

Today as I watched the seabirds fly out over the beautiful blue ocean; I thought how grateful I was to be outside and free like them. I've always believed that faith could heal; but I never expected it would be demonstrated to me like this.

That's amazing GordoAVR! 9 days post op I was just getting home and still shaky on my legs, no way was I ready to take any walks outside farther than from the car to the couch. Here I sit 20 days post op and I think I can handle a short walk on the beach if I had to. Cool shoes man!

 

[Chris]

I've been lurking here for a little while now, maybe a month or two. Anyway...I am nine months post op and have the some of the same feelings. A lot of the inner drive/spark feels to be missing. I can tell that it's still there, sometimes, but I think there are parts of my brain that are subconsiously still digesting what I went through last year and that is displacing the part that nurtures/is used to generate the spark/drive that I used to have. It's difficult to describe.

On another note, it's been helpful to have been able to read through all of the threads on this site. Part of my wishes I had found it prior to my surgery, but part of me is glad that I didn't

 

[Bina]

I've been lurking here for a little while now, maybe a month or two. Anyway...I am nine months post op and have the some of the same feelings. A lot of the inner drive/spark feels to be missing. I can tell that it's still there, sometimes, but I think there are parts of my brain that are subconsiously still digesting what I went through last year and that is displacing the part that nurtures/is used to generate the spark/drive that I used to have. It's difficult to describe.

On another note, it's been helpful to have been able to read through all of the threads on this site. Part of my wishes I had found it prior to my surgery, but part of me is glad that I didn't

Hello Chris and welcome !
I agree totally.

 

[GordoAVR]

I think we come a little closer to accepting the fragile nature of our own mortality. Before this event, it's like I was on cruise control; after the surgery, was when I looked into the rear-view mirror and saw just how close I came to driving over the cliff.

 

[Charlie]

My career was working for one the alphabet soups for Uncle Sam. In that career I was always first, always the example, I was always a leader, always gung ho. That was me.

I could give a rip now. I want to enjoy my life at a slower pace, savor the moments that have been given back to me. Enjoy life as I haven't before. I just consider it a chance for me to finally figure out how precious the air I breath really is.

As you might expect I am not a religious person. However, I always believed that there was a higher presence than my own. I seem to have come out of the operating room with a different outlook on life in general and in the well being of my loved ones. I am less ambitious and more prone to help others succeed. I haven't quite figured out where all this is going for me but I can't wait to find out.