46yrs old male in UK with BAV / Aneurysm - advised today that surgery needs to be within next 2/3 months. Scared

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Just received news today following most recent scan that BAV valve now moderate/severe so surgery to be planned next 3mnts for mechanical valve and aortic aneurysm repair (5cms). Knew the day was coming but really scared. Live in UK and this forum has been brilliant to learn from - especially how brave many of you are that have found yourself in this position.

Hey Rich. I just hit my 6 month post surgery date. Pretty similar circumstances - surgery right before turning 43, pretty active person, had a 4 1/2 month wait until surgery (some of it my choice), moderate/severe stenosis, etc.

Everyone is different but I can assure you the surgery and recovery is not as bad as what you think. I have a buddy at the gym who had shoulder surgery 4 months ago and I can tell you he'd trade his surgery for mine :)

Use the time to get anything done that will make recovery more comfortable or things that you may not be able to do for a bit. Do some research but not too much. Stay positive. Stay active.

You're going to bounce back with time.
 
I know I should have angry faced you, but I have a mental problem
Weird how that works.

its interesting indeed. I've pondered that for some time too and come to two points:
  • I can more exactly moderate my energy output
  • air cooling is better
the cooling became clearer to me in significance when I discovered winter in (first) South Korea and then more significantly in Finland.
There I could exercise better (all the way down to -20C was just great, lower than that and breathing became a bit more troubled).

I've also liked roller blades ... never running though.

so for me its wheels or skis (cos snow shoes are for people who can't ski).
 
I think one of my biggest fears is that I’m a passionate runner and cyclist since I was in my teens. My hope is that after proper recovery, I can reach same levels of fitness. I have noticed declines aerobically in last 12mnts so perhaps this operation will have me coming out even stronger and fitter. Guess I need to hang on to hopes like this.

So happy to see you feeling brave. It's easy for those of us on the other side of surgery to tell people stay positive, be brave, etc. I think and hope we'll all get there, but the most important thing in the meantime is that you have people who you can talk to who will listen unconditionally. I've been a crisis counselor in the past, answering phones for crisis centers and the national suicide hotline, and I can say with 100% confidence that the #1 thing people need in a crisis is unconditional validation, support, love, and empathy. Knowing that and even with all that experience, I broke down the night before my surgery and just needed to sob over the phone to someone I could trust. I was grateful I did. I went into the surgery with a full heart and a lot of love. Talk to people you love, give yourselves over to them, and let them know what you need.

As for exercise... I had endocarditis with moderate-severe insuffiency and a 7mm vegetation flopping around on one of my two aortic cusps a little more than a year ago. I've been active my whole life and found myself frequently short of breath during simple yoga poses pre-surgery. Running left me short of breath, even walking my dog left me short of breath. This was obviously before I knew I had endocarditis.

I had surgery in early August, which puts me eight months out. I'm back to playing ultimate frisbee and going for jogs. Hoping to get my gym membership back up so I can go play some pick-up basketball. I could have returned to those activities much sooner, probably, but I had lost so much weight and been sick so long because of the endocarditis that I had decided to take it slow. I check my INR weekly with an at-home device and have generally been in-range.
 

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