Mentally adjusting to OHS

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I was searching the threads before bringing my subject up. There seems to be some conversation going and I want to resurrect it. I dont have panic attacks or depression,,at least I dont call it that. I am feeling numb. I didnt get excited about the holidays,,,I dont get excited about anything. Sure,I am very grateful to be alive but cant seem to find the joy that was once in my life. I feel like my time here has been shortened and I cant get pass that. The doctor put me on celexa and I cant tell any difference,,its been 2 months. Its hard to put into words...I'm not the same person. Does this feeling improve with time or are we forever changed by this traumatic turn of events?
 
chest tightness

chest tightness

Don't know exactly what you mean by chest tightness, but I also have issues in running 7 mos after AVR (mechanical valve). My surgery was open heart so my expeience may not be applicable to your situation. But, running now does aggrevate muscular soreness in my shoulders which is a lingering annoyance post OHS. When I am running, I must focus on form or I find my self slouching after a mile or so - and slouching only makes matters worse.

Weight lifting is also more difficult when doing anything using the shoulder muscles - mainly shoulder presses. I am also thinking about massage or a visit to a physical therapist. I can update after I do that.

The 'ghosts' have been an annoyance for me as well. Trust the docs.

Dan
 
Lou,

Talk to the doctor about this. I don't have an answer for you, but sometimes (as you probably know) you need to try different meds before you find the right one. Counseling can help too, or talking to a friend or pastor. I speak from my own experience.

Dan (Clicker)
 
Dear Ib151

Dear Ib151

Hi,

Yes, I can certainly relate. I told my husband just yesterday, "the best way I can describe how I feel is, it feels like a little light inside went out". Don't misunderstand, I am very grateful for a second chance to be here. I also have been dealing still with pericarditis, which I take prednesone for. My cardio says not to worry, sometimes it can take up to two years to completely go away. I am gradually getting my fitness back. I guess I am just very disappointed that I am not doing better. My one year anniversary will be Feb. I was expecting to be fully recovered, AND fully back in shape by then! I sometimes still have little aches, and pains in the chest area. The valve is working fine, so is the heart, though.

I think it's probably pretty normal, for some people to feel this way. I have had several people tell me it takes two years, both physically, mentally, and emotionally to heal. Everyone is different. You just have to keep persevering, and be consistent with physical exercise. Don't push yourself too hard though. I find walking does help my mood too. I was a walker before surgery, and have always enjoyed it.

Don't give up! You will get there! It does take time though, just be patient.

Good luck, Kathy
 
Hey guys :)

I am now 3.5 years post-op and I feel great. Bearing in mind that I recently ended a 12-year relationship and I am madly trying to find new job so that I can keep my house, that is quite a statement to make!

I mentioned in a post above that I was treated for PTSD. I have also reconnected with my spiritual side and I feel closer to the Earth. I have gone out into the community and made some wonderful new friends. Life does go on. For a while there I was also afraid that I would not feel like a normal person ever again. It is hard in the beginning, OHS is such a horrible, unnatural thing to go through, and having a metal body part at your core is a huge shock to the system. I also have a pacemaker, so I am effectively kept alive by a little computer. But you can feel normal again. Get out and do the things you enjoy. Your life is not over. My condition does not stop me from doing the things I want. Your soul will heal, your heart will keep on ticking, and you will feel right again. You may never be exactly who you were before your surgery, but that is no reason why you can't be better. You can be whatever you want to be. Embrace it, it is now a part of you :)
 
All -

I am almost 9 mos post-op and still think about my heart constantly. My fitness levels are slowly coming back, but the experience of OHS kinda 'haunts' me. Maybe that's where Lou is coming from as well. I don't think of OHS as a horrible experience, but it certainly was a huge event, and I don't expect I will ever forget it. But, time heals, and a little faith goes a long way too.

Kathy - happy anniversary. I totally understand the 'little light went out' feeling. Sounds like you are handling things OK. Your advice is on target.

Jodie - wow! I hope all your personal things work out. Glad to hear that you are feeling great at 3.5 yrs after surgery. Your attitude is awesome.

Not much else I can say that hasn't already been said. Take care. Dan
 
Stevo...

I would suggest getting a heart monitor and when you exercise train to a target heart rate. Maybe your working your heart too hard when your peaking ? Im 11 months and I run a few times a week. I wear mine and it gives me total peice of mind when I run. Im 43 and I target about 145bpm. Today I forgot my monitor and sure enough I wasn't comfortable running, its like a security blanket. I can check my rate and know if Im overdoing it or if its all in my head. Usually its the latter !

It does take time to get back into fighting shape after OHS but it sounds like your a pretty fit person to begin with given your levels of exercise.
 
Hey there!

I'm finally getting back into an exercise routine now, nearly three years after my mitral repair. I get frustrated when I feel that I don't have the stamina I feel I should have...and yes, I do still worry a bit.

I liken it to when I lost nearly 50 pounds six years ago. I had spent most of my 20s fat, and when I finally lost all the weight, it took me a long time to mentally adjust to being thin. I'd go shopping and naturally gravitate to the size 18 pants when I was now wearing an 8. I have gained back 15 pounds (stressful 3 years, but no one was making me eat), and funny, even though I've gone up two sizes, I don't see myself as that "fat woman" I'd seen so long ago.

I think when we've lived a good portion of our lives a certain way (overweight, faulty heart valve), it takes a long time to adjust to a new reality. I still expect my cardio to hear a murmur when he listens to my heart. After all, I'd had one for 30 years.

Best,
Debi (debster913)
 
I think as time goes by,I am feeling better. I went through all this pretty much on my own. I was dropped off at Duke by a friend and spent 2 weeks there alone. My son lives 4 hours away and couldnt get the time off. I was simply drained from being strong and it caught up to me. Tomorrow is the anniversary of my 22 year old sons death. He had an undiagnosed heart ailment. My outlook is improving and I welcome all good thoughts and prayers. I say a prayer each night for everyone here. We are all blessed.

I agree Debi,,we have to start looking at ourselves in a new light.

A walk in the sun does wonders,,bring on spring!
 
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