Finding a new focus in life. Ideas?

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J

jds

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 17, 2007
Messages
124
Location
Boston, Massachusetts
Hello -

I had an MV replacement the end of May 2007. Since then, I've been thinking a lot about my focus in life and would like to hear other people's throughts or reference material. Like for many of you, having heart surgery was a wake-up call that my time is finite and mortality is not just a theory.

Up until I was 50, my focus was making a living and, with my wife, raising our daughter. I was a very involved father and glad of the opportunity. Our daughter is now successful and on her own - she even still likes us and visits us fairly often. For the next 5-7 years or so, I was heavily involved in business ventures. I was a founder of a series of small companies. A very involving process that I loved. Made enough money to retire.

After my enterpreneurial stage, I guess I drifted - doing a bunch of unconnected volunteer work mostly with youth organizations - until I got sick then had my heart surgery.

Now, I would like to figure out what to do for the next stage of life - say the next five or ten years. My health is now good; finances are sound; so I have many choices. I'm an outdoorsy guy and I love doing stuff with kids so I assume those will be elements in any plan.

I would like suggestions about how to think about this.

Thanks -

John
 
John -

John -

Yes, heart surgery definitely makes us face our mortality and good for you to want to make a difference.

Outdoors and children?...immediately I thought of helping out with those programs that take inner city children into the country or the wild to experience nature. You live in Boston - I'm sure there are some programs there that do this type of thing. I think that would be perfect for you.

Good luck and enjoy this stage of your life - it will be the best ever.

Christina L
 
Hi John,

Isn't it wonderful that we have opportunities to evaluate our lives and make changes while we are still on this earth. My husband has been the entrepreneur
in our family. He has spent almost all of his working life in businesses that he started or created. Doing so, he was pretty driven, as you referred, to supporting his family and being a husband and father. I have to say that my husband is the most ethical man I have ever known. He is 60 and has just officially become semi-retired. We have been married more than 40 years and have been blessed to see our sons grow up, have careers, and families of their own. Like you, we don't want to spend the time we have left on self focused creature comforts. When I was working in nursing I always felt it was almost more of a calling. I felt like I could make a difference in people's lives and now I do miss that.

We are Christians and that is the securing anchor of our lives. As I get older though and my health has decreased I have really thought about what to do with my time left. With the talents and abilities you have it makes sense that you would work with kids in one way or another. Whatever it is, it doesn't have to be something grand, if you know what I mean. Sometimes making a difference in just one person's life is even more valuable. My oldest son used to spend time as a "big brother" and I know the love he had for the kids he spent time with. It wasn't a lot of kids but rather just a few over the years.

I've helped with home schooling with some of the biology and science subjects. For me it was time well spent. My husband has helped employees who wanted to form their own businesses and served as a mentor throughout the years.

Since you are also blessed with a sound financial situation then I suggest you pray for wisdom to use the funds wisely.

I read the book "A Purpose Driven Life" and it was valuable. I've known others who have literally changed the ways they conducted their lives after reading it.

Whatever you do, I thank you for you post as it has caused me to pause and reevaluate my life once again.
 
I must say that open heart surgery did bring out my reflective side. I?m not retired or retiring anytime soon but I try to make a difference where I can. I have a special place in my heart for the ?left behind? as I call them. They may be old, young or in between. Their needs may be transportation, food, help with the yard or just someone to talk with. There are so many people who have no one or the ones they do have don?t seem to have time for them. I get far more than I give. Seeing a face light up with a smile, hearing the sigh of relief when a need is met (no mater how small).

John Prine wrote a song entitled ?Hello In There?. It is about the loneliness of some elderly and how a kind word or acknowledgement is a ray of sunlight. I heard it years ago at a time in my life when the only thing I cared about was me, I never forgot it. I hope if I am ever old and alone I will be fortunate enough to meet someone who has also heard that song, and remembers it.
 
Congratulations on your retirement and positive outlook.
My husband and I have always made time for volunteer work. I also started my daughter at a very young age to help in the community....it builds character and good values. She is now a nurse in a war veterans hospital.
There are so many opportunities; contact your local churches, youth groups and schools.
 
Yep I can certainly relate. I had been a public school teacher (again, as someone else mentioned, it was a calling since I wasn't doing it for the money) but unfortunately I had to leave that job due to being so sick. Turns out my heart was probably at least a catalyst for my illnesses, but since it isn't the entire story I'm still not working full time. I'm on disability and we're doing ok financially, though far from wealthy. I just couldn't see fit to sit around here all day watching the grass grow when I could be doing SOMETHING and education is what I know so I started working with students individually - piano & voice lessons, music theory, etc. It's been quite rewarding although I could not make a living wage doing it unless I tripled the size of my enrollees. Kids really need these positive outlets in their lives. I think for some of them, it's a lifeline that gives them a choice of something to do.

So, that'd be my advice, as others have stated better than I did. You enjoy working with kids? Find some way to do that. You mentioned wilderness, camping, etc. Perhaps it's a large task, but you could form a group of friends & co-workers and create or build a camp for kids, needy or otherwise.
 
I too can relate. OHS was certainly an eye opening experience and makes one take pause to smell the roses. It sounds like you are doing a great job thinking this through. Whatever you decided, I'm sure it'll be the right choice for you. Explore your options. Best wishes with what ever you decide to do.
 
John
You sound like a terricic candidate to be a Docent educator at the Zoo in Boston. I am sure that the Boston Zoo would have a program. If you like the outdoors, kids, animals etc, etc you would fit right in. I am a Docent for the Louisville Zoo and find it very interesting and satisfying. My schedule is totally up to me as to when and how much time to commit.

Dick
 
Hi John,
If you like the outdoors and working with kids you could volunteer with the Boy Scouts of America. Or one of the many youth programs the NRA (National Rifle Association) offers. Ted Nugents camp for Kids is another outstanding organization. Then there is the "Hunt of a Lifetime"(not to be confused with the "Make a Wish" foundation who wont grant hunting trips because it's not politically correct) where terminally ill kids get to go on a dream hunting trip. Good luck in your retirement.
 
Thanks for the feedback

Thanks for the feedback

Hello -

Thanks for all the ideas. I will follow up on several of them. Also, it is clear I am not alone in this search and I am glad to see the company I am in.

John
 
John, when we leave this life, most of us want to leave some sort of legacy, to have changed somone's life, to have made an impact on the world.

There is no better way to do that than to help a kid. Better yet, a whole bunch of kids!

Your city has all sorts of ministries designed to do just that. Ask around and you'll find one. One of the biggest issues we face in America is the number of fatherless boys who don't know what it really means to be a man. I highly recommend to you a book titled "Season of Life" which is the story of a retired NFL player who coaches and ministers to a bunch of inner city kids with the goal of helping them understand what it is to be a man. It comes from a very Christian viewpoint, but it shows how one guy, no different than you, can impact the lives of hundreds of kids in a really positive, meaningful way.

Go get 'em!

John
 
I have really enjoyed reading this thread and hope that others will continue to voice ideas. My husband and I are approaching those years when we will need/want to make different kinds of contributions. He has been in the business world and has many contacts. I've been on the homefront and been more a part of our community. It will be interesting to see how we blend our efforts to have a meaningful retirement. We have been discussing this a lot lately! But with one still in private college and one in grad school who still needs a little help, and one just graduated.....it is just armchair conversation so far.

Thanks, though, for bringing it around!

I think you will definitely find something that you are suited for....there is so much need in our country.

Best wishes!

Marguerite
 
I was a founder of a series of small companies. A very involving process that I loved. Made enough money to retire

John. maybe you have already given yourself your answer.....
I notice most are recommending that you do volunteer work with children, but have consider a non-for-profit bysiness counseling to young entrepeneours? Teach young (and not so young) or even housewifes, single mothers, what you know about founding small companies, after all it is a process that "you loved" and apparently very successful at.
 
I have 12 websites, 3 blogs and 220 yahoo lists

I have 12 websites, 3 blogs and 220 yahoo lists

jds said:
Hello -

I had an MV replacement the end of May 2007. Since then, I've been thinking a lot about my focus in life and would like to hear other people's throughts or reference material. Like for many of you, having heart surgery was a wake-up call that my time is finite and mortality is not just a theory.

Up until I was 50, my focus was making a living and, with my wife, raising our daughter. I was a very involved father and glad of the opportunity. Our daughter is now successful and on her own - she even still likes us and visits us fairly often. For the next 5-7 years or so, I was heavily involved in business ventures. I was a founder of a series of small companies. A very involving process that I loved. Made enough money to retire.

After my enterpreneurial stage, I guess I drifted - doing a bunch of unconnected volunteer work mostly with youth organizations - until I got sick then had my heart surgery.

Now, I would like to figure out what to do for the next stage of life - say the next five or ten years. My health is now good; finances are sound; so I have many choices. I'm an outdoorsy guy and I love doing stuff with kids so I assume those will be elements in any plan.

I would like suggestions about how to think about this.

Thanks -

John
Click to expand...

I'm almost 70 now and plan to keep on trying to make a lot of money on the internet - as well as being a people's talk and exchange network. I got out 2.5 weeks ago and am now back at work - I personally don't think about my mortality at all - I just got a new ticket for a bunch more years of doing doing the same things - things I enjoy.

Along with that, working out and a drink out now and then and watching birds is of great interest to me. Even Sooner Sports - I have the [email protected] where 198 people discuss and boost the sooners. I have Birdworld with 110 members, Pelagics (seabirding) with 399 members - and a lot of political lists.

We can always use more money too and I've made a fair amount on the websites but a lot less lately so am pursuing that too.

Nothing is really any different and I don't want it to be. If you think you'd like a yahoo list on a subject of your choosing - I'll set it up for you and if it's an interesting subject - you will have a lot of people in awhile.

I will continue walking and my stepper and in 4 months resume weightlifting as well. My wife says "where is my muscle man - you are puny." I tell her - what you see is what you get for now. <G>

best wishes and I hope you find the vision and direction that is right for you.
MajorHart
 
MajorHart - the muscles come back

MajorHart - the muscles come back

Hello -

I started out with "strength training" consisting of doing pushups against a wall while standing 3 feet back. Eventually "girl" pushups and now back to normal.

Now, six months after surgery, I can max out the leg press machine in our Nautalis room and almost max out the abs machine there too. I'm still working on shoulders and back but I have to rehab a rotator cuff problem first. Takes time but it does come back.

I am inspired to hear all the stories this thread has generated. Much of it confirms stuff I was thinking but hearing it from other people in my same boat is really reassuring. The minister at our church ends services by saying "Whatever you are going through in life, remember you are not alone." I'm starting to appreciate that.

Thank you.

John
 
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