Surgery Sneaking Up On Me!!

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C

CathyK.

Hi all!!

Just have some nerves going today and thought I would let some of it out on you all. Aren't you the lucky ones. As the date is approaching, the nerves are increasing on a daily basis. I have noticed I have become very quiet at home. I don't know if it is because I have so much on my mind that I want to get done before I have surgery or if it is the nerves setting in. My husband and sons aren't really talking about any of this so I don't know how they are feeling right now and I don't want to bring it up in case they are keeping it out of their mind for now.

Anyway, just wanted to talk to someone about it. Thanks for being there!
 
Cathy -

I know just how you feel. I went through the same thing. Somewhere on this site is a thread from me where I was totally starting to panic. Finally, though, I was able to relax and just go for the ride. I hope you can too. You'll do fine. Do your preparations and then just try to put your mind at ease. The good news is that you will be getting it over & done with and on with your life with your newly fixed heart.

I wish you all the best and will be sending positive energy, wishes and prayers your way for an uneventful surgery and recovery.

Oh, and the family members, they do that, it just means they love you.

All my best,
Ruth
 
Cathy, I'm hoping you'll get some peace. We all go through the nerves, it is SO normal!! :)
 
So now you're telling us you're normal?:D

Breathe deeply. Your new, improved life is quickly approaching.
 
Cathy, nerves are normal- here's hoping that you find the peace that so many speak of as they walk through the hospital doors. It is so typical of us women to want to protect those around us, but I am sure you will receive much support from your husband and sons.
 
Oh, Cathy! The waiting is the hardest part...we weren't kidding!

You know, several years ago I lost a friend to suicide. This was a lifelong friend. Her parents were like my own parents. I'd known them all for 40 years. Obviously it was a complete tragedy for us. When the parents came the 3000 miles to their daughter's home for the memorial service and whatnot, and we'd driven the 300 to meet them; her mother came up to me at one point and said...."I've just never done anything like this before. I don't know if I'm doing the right things or not." And of course she was so completley right. We hopefully do not have to experience these kinds of things often enough to get good at them!!

Of course, YOU are going in for surgery to improve and prolong your life. It is very different, yet it is the same. It's is a huge undertaking and no one has any experience with it!!! So you probably have to accept everyone's reactions, including your own, as the right ones. Because they are borne of this first experience, they can't be very practiced. They will be what they will be. No one loves anyone any less because they can't bear to express their fear and anxiety. The days will pass one by one and you will soon feel the warm embrace of your loved ones post surgery. These will be smiles that are unrehearsed also, but OH, you will remember those smiles!!!

Keep your eyes on the prize!!

:D Marguerite
 
Hi Cathy -

Pre-op (and I had I think eight days from the surgeon scheduling me to the actual AVR date) I kept getting up really early and I would sit out on my back porch with a cup of coffee all by myself and watch the birds in my feeders. It kind of reminds me about something I read in a Hospice booklet once, that when people are dying they kind of turn their thoughts inward to sort things out. I think I was kind of doing that. I really believed I would survive the surgery, but I secretly wrote an obituary out and tucked it away where my husband would find it only if the worst happened. I didn't want to be, or even appear to be, melodramatic and I didn't want to upset anybody; but I did have a lot of things to think about. Post-op, my boys even teased me that I was smiling as I was wheeled into the pre-op area. They didn't know that, at the same time I was being wheeled away, I was thinking that I wanted them to see me be brave.

I feel for you. Think good thoughts. Make lists to organize the essentials. And hang in there.
 
I know that when my surgery date got close I felt that I was obsessed with it. I thought about it all of the time and I tried not to talk about it as often as I would have liked for fear of driving people around me crazy! So, I did the next best thing- I posted on this web site a lot and it felt much calmer! That's what we're all here for. We know the feeling and we hope we can help you through this. Please don't feel that you're bothering us. It is normal to be worried and anxious at this time. Good Luck to you! Marcie
 
If I've learned anything from the OHS experience, it's that it take a lot of patience. Patience waiting for it to come. Patience as your body slowly recovers. The OHS itself seemed to be the easy part as you sleep through it all.

Pre-op, we had a lot of nervous tension around the house. Think good thoughts about your new and improved future, keep busy doing stuff you enjoy especially with other family members, and try to keep life as normal as possible. I found when we were busy with leading an active "normal" life, the time passed quickly and it actually helped eased the nervous tension.

Hang in there, and good luck.
 
Thanks you guys for all the replies. I am feeling better today. Have alot of things on the agenda and that helps. I guess with more people finding out about the surgery and asking me questions, I was getting to the point where I couldn't get away from the thought of it and get other things done. I have alot to get done in this next week so have decided to concentrate on that.

You all sure know how I am feeling and know how to make it better. I so appreciate it!!

Thanks!
 
Cathy,
I am right there with you on the stress of upcoming surgery. My mitral valve repair (hopefull!) is scheduled for 02/21. When is your surgery? I have started having some weird dreams. One night I dreamed I was on a conveyer belt similar to the ones at the airport for luggage and was being rolled through the opening in the wall back into the OR. Crazy, huh? :confused: At least I have an active imagination, right?!

Good luck as you get closer to the big day.

Mary C
 
Totally understand your nerves and apprehension. My surgery date is right after yours and each day I feel a little more tightly wound. Everyone here is so helpful and understanding and no one seems to mind at all if we "lean" on them for some moral support! So,o,o, feel free to vent and believe in a bright, wonderful, healthy future! You'll be in my prayers.

Jan
 
Cathy,

You're right, keeping active and focusing on the other side helps. I think I'm put on every prayer list there is in the state of Minnesota! That is what keeps me at peace.

Not to say, I haven't had my moments . . . Here's a silly one that happened today. I was in the video store for the 3rd time to rent "High School Musical." My daughter will be in the High School Musical play after my surgery. Well, for the 3rd time they said, "It's out." I couldn't put my name on hold and started getting emotional because I really want to see this DVD before I go into surgery. Anyways, I've decided to go purchase a copy.

I do expect a successful surgery, but being a realist I also am preparing in case that mountain isn't reached. I'm getting everything ready for that scenario, which in turn, makes me a bit weepy at times. I'm fine with everything, my biggest concern is for my daughter.

When are you having your surgery?

jackie

-------------------------------------------------------

1995 - TIAs (mini strokes) started after birth of my daughter, Aspirin started.
1996 - BAV w/mild stenosis diagnosed.
2003 - PFO (hole in heart) fixed w/Amplatzer. 3 catheters up the legs.
2003 - FVL (clotting disorder) diagnosed, Coumadin started.
2/16/07 - Surgery for BAV w/severe stenosis, Mechanical Valve, Dr. Suri, Mayo Clinic.

Expect the best. Prepare for the worse.

I intend to live forever -- so far, so good.

"Life is great, life is grand. Life is like a rubber band." - Jackie Beach
 
This really is the hardest time, the waiting before the surgery. And I don't think there is anyone who hasn't felt apprehensive, it's normal. This is a big deal. But, it is also something that is done on a regular basis by very skilled people with very strict guidelines for your care.

I'm glad you are keeping busy and doing things with your family. That is the best thing you can do!
 
Cathy,

I worked part-time up to four days before my surgery. I look back and wonder how I managed to sleep, eat or anything else and yet I did. Athough, I believed I would be OK, I wrote letters to my son and my husband a few days before surgery about my love and my hopes for them. I packed my bag for the hospital and thought about life after surgery starting with my stay in the hospital.

This surgery is done everyday around the world. The anxiety got to me 3 days after surgery when I was finally awake enough to understand what I had been through. That wasn't the best time to flip out. I think it's better to be nervous before hand and get it out of the way. You'll be fine. It's been 10 months since my surgery and life is good. ;)
 
If possible, spend at least one good day away from everything, preferably with your significant other, in some place that you find beautiful. Spend a passive time drinking it in and enjoying its ambiance. Find peace, let go.

Best wishes,
 
Good luck next week. I will be thinking you he day after my surgery when you have yours. For what it is worth, the only thing my wife and I have done to prepare is buy new underware so the hospital won't see the holes in my old underware.

See you in post opt in a couple of weeks.

Mark
 
Cathy, what you are going through right now is so normal. I think it's the fear of the unknown. I don't know how you are spiritually but I couldn't have got through it without love and prayers from my family, friends and the friends on this forum. I couldn't wait to get to the other side of the mountain. It's wonderful on this side, you just wait and see. I just went through major knee surgery and I too went through the nerves of waiting to just get it over with. Like everyone has said, the waiting is the hardest. Hugs and prayers are coming your way.
 
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