On-X Aortic Heart Valves: Safer with Less Warfarin On-X Aortic Heart Valves: Safer with Less Warfarin

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  • #16
    Thanks for your words of support. It just sucks that 4 years down the drain. All I even was someone to support me. Thing is I am someone who has treated patients as an EMT and has had people literally die in my arms. I know what morbidity feels like and everyone in this forum as well. My doctor told me, we are a special bunch in that we have seen it up close how life is so fragile. MY med school friends have told m, "she's not one of us, she can never see life the way w see it".

    Ive given you the nuts and bolts, there were other issues, insecurities, her wanting me to prioritize HER over my medical school ambitions at times, and in the end I even tried to explain how we are making a mistake, we shouldn't do this, we have spent lots of time together, that we should respect that.

    Her response "Oh so this is how much respect you have for me, how dare you use that on me, you'd respect me, if maybe you had a sister". This was the tipping point, because she was referring to my dead sister who died due to her downs syndrome. Thats when I said to hell with you.

    Its just Im a bit heart broken, I invested so much, I would drop her meds and soup on her sick days, drive 30 min to see her just for 1 hour, and always surprising her in every way I can.

    I don't know just Im quite heart broken, and scared my OHS may not go as well.

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    • #17
      Originally posted by lifesaverDO View Post
      Thanks for your words of support. ...
      I don't know just Im quite heart broken, and scared my OHS may not go as well.
      I understand, I've had two relationships go south, on was 7 years, that hurt too.

      Find a good woman who deserves you. Better yet, let her find you.

      The OHS will go well.

      How come you are not considering OHS and valve replacement?

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      • #18
        Originally posted by pellicle View Post
        I understand, I've had two relationships go south, on was 7 years, that hurt too.

        Find a good woman who deserves you. Better yet, let her find you.

        The OHS will go well.

        How come you are not considering OHS and valve replacement?
        Thank you. It will be Open heart surgery, at Cincinnati Children's Hospital, using a bovine valve.

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        • #19
          Originally posted by lifesaverDO View Post
          . It will be Open heart surgery, at Cincinnati Children's Hospital, using a bovine valve.
          It's confronting, but I am sure you'll recover and be stronger. Your going somewhere in your life and she's back on the island in the distance

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          • #20
            lifesaverDO You dodged a bullet with the ex. It would've been nastier and more painful if you'd been married and/or had kids. And don't think of it as time wasted. If nothing else, now you have a better sense of when to run from the crazy.

            I know how you feel about the surgery; I'm about 3 weeks behind your timeline. It's hard to imagine being in a more vulnerable, helpless position. But thousands upon thousands of people, many in much worse shape than you, have made it through this. You'll make it too and your life will be better and longer for it. I know it's terrifying but sometimes going with flow is the only thing, and the best thing, that you can do.

            I wish you the best.

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            • #21
              What an ugly and sad end. She sounds like a case study from The Sociopath Next Door. It might actually be easier to get through heart surgery alone than with her. Maybe it'll be easier to get through med school and residency without a relationship at all, let alone this painful one.I hope you have other family or friends who can be relied upon. And when the time is right, I bet you will be an excellent and loyal husband to someone who has the capacity to love others.
              Mitral stenosis from rheumatic fever, corrected 2002 via valvuloplasty, now have mitral regurgitation, in the waiting room for mitral valve replacement

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              • #22
                Wow, must be a theme this week. A good buddy of mine had a long ongoing thing with a woman at work who was in the process of 'leaving her husband' for years . She finally left him but then strangely she stopped showing much interest in him, suddenly she tells him she's pregnant by another guy. His male ego is bruised but I told him he should put that guy on his Christmas card list. She's 10 years older than him with a ,42, with a 22 year old albatross of a son. Not the same situation but you and him are better off even if it doesn't seem that way.
                On a side note the airport scene in 12 Monkeys was actually filmed in the Pennsylvania Convention Center in Philadelphia. I look my son to the auto show there about 2 months ago- fun fact.

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                • #23
                  Originally posted by ClickityClack View Post
                  lifesaverDO You dodged a bullet with the ex. It would've been nastier and more painful if you'd been married and/or had kids. And don't think of it as time wasted. If nothing else, now you have a better sense of when to run from the crazy.

                  I know how you feel about the surgery; I'm about 3 weeks behind your timeline. It's hard to imagine being in a more vulnerable, helpless position. But thousands upon thousands of people, many in much worse shape than you, have made it through this. You'll make it too and your life will be better and longer for it. I know it's terrifying but sometimes going with flow is the only thing, and the best thing, that you can do.

                  I wish you the best.
                  ha! You don't know the half of it. I had gotten her a ring for our engagement. She wanted to return it, in fact I didn't. I got her a new one something she loved, so yes two rings! But in a later fight she called the first one a POS.

                  I do have family, a great support system, classmates, and of course you wonderful people. I think I am just heart broken she's not around to be here.

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                  • #24
                    one ring to rule them all...
                    27mm St Jude mechanical AVR, mitral valve repaired.Surgery 4th Nov15 at 39 yrs old. Bicuspid Aorta.40 yrs old.Sternal wires removed 28th Oct 16.

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                    • #25
                      And who(not the ring) is the POS?! Sorry, I couldn't help myself.

                      I am sorry you had this fire to go through. Now it is time for YOU. This is all about YOU. Be very good to yourself and try to put all else aside right now. You are going to do great through the surgery and will be given another chance at life, a very good life that we all know should not be taken for granted. Best wishes now and do let us know how it goes. We care.

                      One more thing............KARMA!

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                      • #26
                        Tell it like it is.

                        20 bucks says people warned him.
                        Bicuspid Aortic Valve. Moderate Aortic Valve Stenosis. Ascending Aorta: 4.1cm
                        In the waiting room.

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                        • #27
                          Originally posted by Agian View Post
                          Tell it like it is.

                          20 bucks says people warned him.
                          As much as I hate to say it, I kept my love life very private. There were issues I wasn't comfy with. If anything I was open about my love for her, writing poems and being affectionate for how lucky I am. I never let the world know the fire I was in. It wasn't until later I found out, she was telling her parents and siblings a lot of dirt, only then did I tell my friends and family.

                          And yes, you are right, they were very upset with me because and said had we known earlier, we would have made sure she was not going to be in your life.

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                          • #28
                            Originally posted by pellicle View Post

                            My musical taste is eclectic but eccentric :-)
                            [ link ]

                            Swordfish trombone is a classic piece of art.

                            One of his on Fight Club and Twelve Monkies too
                            OMG I *love* Tom Waits! Got me through some tough times when I got divorced. Alone and rocking my first baby to "Picture in a Frame", and later dancing around the room with him as a toddler to "Jockey Full of Bourbon."

                            Excellent taste, Pellicle. I can't choose just one song to recommend, but "Nirvana" is one of the special ones to me because it reminds me of my early relationship with my fiancee, fifteen years ago, and how even though I could see something special I still came very close to (metaphorically) getting back on that bus and moving on. Thank God, *I* ended up staying in the diner -- and I've never regretted it, not once!

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                            • #29
                              I'm sure that it hurt you and still hurts and it (will) ease over time. Who knows what her reasons are? But life's to short mate to give yourself over to too much headspace for a girl who didn't deserve you....

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                              • #30
                                To the OP -- yeah, I wasted way too many years agonizing over a woman who was just not worth it. I know it won't really help you in the here and now, but in a way she is doing you a favor -- she would have bugged out sooner or later, this saves you the trouble of dealing with it after you'd had kids.

                                There are other, better women out there -- you will find one if you don't give up.

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