Should an 87-Year-Old Have Surgery??

[Superbob]

"Free":

You've gotten some very thoughtful replies. I don't have any recommendations but I just wanted to say I sympathize with what a tough decision your Mother faces, and you in assisting her, and I want to add my prayers and best wishes. I hope that once a course has been set, you can just go forward in the confidence you have made an informed decision and not second-guess yourselves.

 

[hensylee]

Mother was in her late 80s when she had MAJOR surgery, not heart. It was intestinal and the dr figured he would find cancer. It was a fist (man-size) sized ball of hard infection. He removed it, put her intestines back together because she didn't want one of those other things in her side. She took a very long time to get well and my sister, brother and I took turns being round the clock with her. She got over it and did very well, but it took a very long time. Major surgery takes us oldies a long time to get over - like maybe a year.

 

[Granbonny]

My aunt had open-heart surgery the same time I had it..Hers was for by-pass. Age 83..Did great...Sadly, passed last month of something else.Not heart-related..She did have a son who lived full-time with her..so, I'm sure that helped a lot......My dad was diagnosed with a stomach aneurysm at age 80..Checked again at age 85..We were told, he probably would not survive that surgery...so, we never talked about it again. he contined to be very active until he passed 1 day after his 91st. birthday..with pneumonia?.. I think, he was just tired and missing Mama Just took a nap and never woke up...I will pray for your Mother. Bonnie

 

[livingfree]

WOW... Thank you all so much for helping me think about this! To answer one question that I saw above, Mom was told that her cardiac valve is 0.5, which is why she was scheduled for quick surgery -- but as of yesterday (the day that she was supposed to be in surgery) she has instead chosen to consult Dr. Mind-Over-Matter. She has no heart symptoms and she is feeling well, and this is so typical of my mother (who is a relentless optimist): she has decided to pretend that nothing is wrong and not even to see a cardiologist. Nope -- she is going just to live her life, try to do a little more exercising, put it all in God's hands, and enjoy her summer. If she ever gets a chest pain or feels short of breath, THEN she will talk again about surgery!

I realize that most of you think that this is a looney-tunes approach to what is a genuine health problem. And, true, she may gradually get worse, and by the time she actually decides to consider surgery she may be facing worse risks statistically. But her surgery risks are pretty bad NOW, and she is nearly 88 years old, and even a comfortable and happy year or two ahead is something not to be bargained away lightly. I want to reassure you all that she made this decision on her own -- my sister and I and my husband (a physician) all felt that the surgery was too risky, but it was her own decision to consider the surgery and her own decision to reject it.

And last night I slept without taking a sleeping pill.

Thanks again, everyone!!

 

[ALCapshaw2]

Your mother's decision is certainly understandable and reasonable given her age (87) and condition. It sounds like you and she and family are all comfortable with her choice which is a good place to be. I hope that all of her loved ones can visit while she is still feeling well. I expect that would give her a sense of completeness and peace.

Given the same circumstances, I would probably make the same choice, i.e. to enjoy the time I had left rather than to endure major surgery with a lengthy recovery that may not result in a longer or better life ahead.

Best wishes to all!

'AL Capshaw'

 

[Ross]

I realize that most of you think that this is a looney-tunes approach to what is a genuine health problem. And, true, she may gradually get worse, and by the time she actually decides to consider surgery she may be facing worse risks statistically.
Thanks again, everyone!!

Not at all. You wanted to know our thoughts, stats and has it been done and that's what we gave.

Good luck to all of you.

 

[hensylee]

An independent lady if I ever saw one. Tell her we are proud of her and wish her a long and happy life. We hope she lives as long as she wants - in good health.

 

[Granbonny]

I, too, wish your Mother a long, healthy life. We were blessed that Daddy did just that...Enjoying his flowers, cuting his grass with a push-mower up until a month before he passed.Watching the Atlanta Braves every night.. Talking on the phone with all his kids, grandkids, and even great-grandkids. knew all of us by name. He loved the Holidays..Sitting on his front porch at halloween..giving out candy to the neighborhood kids.Opening gifts on xmas morning... ....Never sick. I think he took 1 b/p pill a day. Bonnie

 

[Nancy]

Best wishes to your mom. She sounds like a great gal. may she enjoy every moment!